wayne on me

reevaluating my life and what i want from it.

changes must be made.

there is something about writing (typing) down your feelings that is truly therapeutic.

disappointment.

reflecting back to the beginning of this year, one thing truly stands out to me.

i was getting paid to write.

it wasn’t some huge sum or anything,
but the fact of the matter is, at one point,
writing was my job. 

one of my secret ambitions growing up was to become an author; 
to appeal to an audience who at some point was feeling the exact same way,
thinking the exact same thought.

and to think i let that opportunity slip away…

apathy: 1; dreams: 0.

indecisive

i’m notoriously indecisive,

but i’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a product of life kicking my ass.

what’s the point in choosing this or planning that,

when in reality, it doesn’t really matter.

you can’t control shit.

things will happen the way life wants,

regardless of how much planning or orchestrating you do.

life has taught me to never put all your faith in anything.

that nothing is ever going to turn out the way you originally want.

that going with the flow of things is much better than being disappointed.

call this sad, call it cynical.

i call it life.

earned

we’ve reached a certain point that i feel we deserve, a place we’ve earned.

a step beyond comfortable, but behind complacency,

the accumulation of the tears shed, the fears faced, and the arguments had.

the product of the near misses and the almost never was.

a point that only comes after the storm.

we’ve worked passed all the bullshit, the immaturities, the baggage, the pride.

we’ve made it to a point that others can only dream of, or read in fairytales.

we’ve earned the right to think of the future, 

the right to be happy, 

the right to be in this together.

we’ve earned the right to say i love you.